![]() I wish I stopped thinking about him so much, because he's probably in a better place right now. All of that, just replaying in my mind in this endless loop. I keep thinking of the things we did together. I keep recalling our texts in the beginning when we were so happy with each other. Wake the fuck up.Īt the back of my mind, even when I'm doing other stuff the first thing when I wake up, I just keep thinking of what happened that night, his words. I'm in my early thirties now, and I'm still so fucking dumb. I was stupid in my teens, in my early twenties. I'm the one holding on to things when the other party was happy to let things crash and burn. I'm the one that guys leave, without a backwards glance. Throughout my life, I'm usually the one being dumped. I guess it's 'cause I haven't had to do this in the past eight years. ![]() I knew it'd hurt, I knew it'd be difficult, but I never expected it to be like this. Look at the free time that I have, but no one special anymore to spend it with. Wouldn't it be nice, if I was living in an alternate timeline where we were still together in a happy relationship, and he wasn't so busy with work all the time and could take leave to spend quality time with me and we could do all of the things that we said we wanted to do?Īnd now, these 19 days just stretch in front of me. I think the trigger, that moment that destroyed my progress and brought all of it crashing down was when I was planning my remaining 19 days of leave for the rest of the year. Each and every negative emotion that I highlighted in my previous post came roaring back like a tsunami, magnified. ![]()
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